Fashion for Self-Love
What is fashion? It’s generally known as a popular or the latest style of clothing, hair, decoration, or behaviour. So what does that mean when we go to buy clothing and dress for ourselves?
Well for all of us it means we want to buy something we feel GOOD in.
When you then break that down, good can feel different for every single person. Some things people may consciously or unconsciously feel is ‘attractive’, ‘accepted’, ‘sexy’, ‘slim’, ‘unique’, ‘vibrant’, ‘inconspicuous’, ‘rebellious’, ‘glamorous’, ‘pretty’, ‘powerful’, ‘girly’, ‘normal’, ‘playful’, ‘stylish’, ‘manly’, ‘hippy’, ‘controversial’ and of course ‘fashionable’. So HOW do you want to feel good?
As a Human Brand Futurist who focuses on building people’s profiles as well, I get people to look at what they want to say about themselves. Funnily enough most people don’t even think about it, they instinctively buy and dress (again) to what feel’s good, even feel’s right for them. I always ask the question, okay if you were a brand ‘What are you selling about yourself?’ Here are some examples to illustrate my point…
Casual and dressing down – I don’t care about myself (or you)
Power suit – I am powerful and I respect myself (and you)
Hippy – I want to feel free in my self-expression with myself (and you), sometimes it can also feel like I rebel against society (and you).
What we are saying about ourselves, also communicates what we feel about the person we are with (unconsciously). Ultimately if you said to yourself when you dress, I want to wear something that shows I care about myself – what would you wear?
I’m a big black yoga pants and T-Shirts with Birkenstock girl, but my Birkenstocks are gold, my T-Shirts are original Adidas or something a bit fashionable or quirky. I also have my big black glasses, so I’m not hiding, I’m still caring about myself enough to wear something that is my brand and my message which is that freedom, comfort is important to me and I want to bring that to you! Hence I love helping people feel better about themselves in a comfortable ‘easy’ way.
Awareness is always 50% of our healing, so just own how you feel and what you want to say and go for it! If you want to be ‘inconspicuous, then be the best at being inconspicuous!
Get off the fence and own it, that way you take your power back cause you are being responsible for your own self-expression.
One part I wanted to share was something that always fascinated me. I can put an outfit on and feel AMAZING, then the next time I put that outfit on I feel fat and ugly. Huh? Go figure. It proves to me that our perception of ourselves is determined by our moods (of course) but so obviously here!
How can we fix that?
Well I’ve been experimenting and I found 6 great tips for getting around those fat or ugly days – or just when nothing is working!
- Determine what your key objectives beyond feeling good when you dress are – pick 3. Some will vary depending on your occasion, so make sure you cover those too. You will always have one main one (mine is that I don’t feel fat!)
- Have 3 outfits that are your ‘go to’ bad dress days – it brings some consciousness that when you have worn these before you do look and feel good (bit of NLP).
- Make sure your hair is the thing is not the problem or another body issue and address that first. (Again maybe pick 3 Hair/make-up fixes).
- Give yourself time! If you are in a rush it’s worse, so make sure you have enough time to process how you are feeling, trying different things.
- Check in to see if there is anything else worrying you and just uncover that because it will play out in your wardrobe! (I had one women come to me after a presentation I gave and said I hate my hair – I responded with ‘it’s not about your hair’ what else is going on? Of course it was an issue she was having with a woman at work.)
- Nurture yourself. If everything is looking yucky to you, it means you need to give yourself some self-love. Self-Love IS the best remedy to most things, so don’t beat yourself up even more when you look in the mirror, say something you LOVE about yourself or your body and change your vibration and attitude. Continue that by doing some nice stuff for yourself during the week.